Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
