im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
