check it out our google latitudes are spooning
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
