the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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