Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
