I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
