Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
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