You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
