If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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