yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
