I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
