I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
