How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
