Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
