I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
