Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
