If that was your dad, he is hot
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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