They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
It was like getting head from an anaconda
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
