I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
