kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm sobbing to NWA
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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