ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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