Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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