Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
