Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
