Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
