So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
