he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
