I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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