if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
