girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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