Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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