God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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