I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
wanna go halves on a baby?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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