i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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