She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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