I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
