I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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