i don't like sucking hair
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
