Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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