wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
