We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
