I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
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