i jhust puked up my retainher.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
