I don't usually arrange sex via text message
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
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