is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
he fucked my hip out of place.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
