Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Actions speak louder than pants.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
