I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
NoShamevember. You game?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
