those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
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