Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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