let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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