If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
