Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
40s are totally the cure
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
